

Book by: Michael DeMaio and John Matthews
Music by: Michael DeMaio
Lyrics by: Michael DeMaio
Act One
Scene One: After a short musical prologue, the curtain rises on a parole board hearing at a prison in Secaucus, New Jersey. It is three days before Christmas and Matthew Crawford and Harry Bunk, dressed in orange prison suits, their backs to the audience nervously await their fate. Seated at a large, high table are the seven members of the parole board. The Parole Board Chairman, gavel in hand, is at the center. The parole board members are dressed in black suits, white shirts and black neckties and move and respond in perfect synchronization. When they speak, they speak in a unison monotone. The verdict is in. The Parole Board Chairman slams down his gavel and declares that parole for Harry Bunk and Matthew Crawford has been denied. The parole board exits in a very robotic and comical dance.
Scene two: In a cell block of the prison, Matthew and Harry, with the help of some other prisoners, ponder their predicament
(“We’ve Got to Get Out of Here”). Matthew
and Harry convene over a plan to escape from their captivity. It is here where we learn that they were falsely accused of the crime of counterfeiting. The only way to clear themselves is to get out of jail and find the true facts.
Scene three: The prisoners solemnly march into the prison work room (“Prisoner’s March”). There, they begin to assemble toys, large and small, that will be sent to New York’s children’s shelters for Christmas. The most conspicuous of the toys are life size toy soldiers. It is time for dinner break. The dinner bell rings. The prisoners line up and exit the cell block (“Prisoner’s March Playoff”). Harry and Matthew make their desperate and comical escape: they will duck out of the line, get dressed in two toy soldier costumes that were left behind by a visiting acting troupe, hide in an outgoing crate, and be driven to one of the children’s shelters and subsequent freedom. Mathew and Harry jump in the crate just as Warden Gilmore enters with two workmen. In a sinister tone, Warden Gilmore orders the workmen to deliver the crate to the “usual place...and no slip ups…these toy soldiers are the biggest money maker we have.” He hands the workmen a wad of bills. The workmen slide the crate that contains Harry and Matthew off stage.
Scene four: Gleeful shoppers crowd the aisles of Angberd’s Toy Emporium, The Largest Toy Store in New York, and happily sing about buying all the Christmas gifts they want with their beloved credit cards (“Christmas Shopping”). At the center of the fray is the eccentric owner of the store, Cosmo T. Angberd. He is accompanied by his floozy girl companion, Bubbles. Angberd encourages his customers not to worry and to “charge it!”
Scene five: Two of Angberd’s employees, Stacy Bradford and Beth Chamberlain are busy in the store’s stockroom unpacking boxes of toys. Stacy laments about the romantic aspects of Christmas time as Beth complains that she is broke. Stacy’s innocence and cockeyed optimism is no match for Beth’s desire for all that money can buy (“I Want a Guy for Christmas”).
Scene six: Kate and Mary Calloway run a children’s shelter in lower Manhattan. At the shelter, we find ourselves in the midst of a visit from Santa Claus. Santa Claus gives the toys made at the prison to the children.
Kate and Mary are perplexed that there was not enough toys for all the children this year, and that the new warden of the prison, Warden Gilmore, was not as accessible as the previous warden. They express reason for concern.
Five of the shelter kids, Tommy, Billy, Jill, Holly and Skeeter sneak in when the adults leave. They finalize plans to continue a shelter tradition: sneak out on Christmas Eve and give the food stuff that they have collected and hid to the
neighborhood homeless people
(“Ya Gotta Give”).
Scene seven: Stacy and Beth are busy in the stock room opening boxes. They open two large crates containing two life size toy soldiers. You guessed it! It is Harry and Matthew in their ridiculous disguises. The girls, not
knowing that it is Harry and Matthew, observe how ugly the toy soldiers are. Finally, his nose twitching, Harry lets out a loud sneeze. The girls scream with fear. Harry and Matthew desperately try to calm the girls down. After
telling their story, Harry and Matthew plead with Stacy and Beth not to turn them in. They need to prove their innocence. Warden Gilmore, Angberd and Bubbles enter the other side of the stockroom. Stacy, Beth, Harry and Matthew overhear
the warden and Angberd discussing their plot to defraud the city’s children’s shelters by diverting the toys made by the prisoners for the shelters, to Angberd’s toy store to be sold for profit. Stacy and Beth can’t believe their
ears: Angberd is a crook! Warden Gilmore is exasperated by Angberd’s exuberant and childish behavior. Angberd is always playing with one toy or another; A Pee Wee Herman doll, a Slinky, or his favorite, a yo-yo. Gilmore wants his cut of
the money from their prison scam. Angberd tells Gilmore that he doesn’t want him around the store anymore, as it may arouse suspicion. Angberd reveals a ridiculous plan to pass Gilmore his money. Angberd will hide the money in a
hollowed out book and pass it off to Gilmore on Christmas Eve, at Rockefeller Center, after the show at Radio City Music Hall. The exasperated Gilmore decides that it’s hopeless to argue or reason with the oblivious Angberd, and
reluctantly agrees to the plan. We also learn that it was Gilmore who perpetrated the frame up of Harry and Matthew in the counterfeiting scheme.
The idealistic Stacy decides that it’s her duty, in the spirit of Christmas, to help the shelter kids get their toys back, and to expose the corruption by Angberd and Warden Gilmore. Beth doesn’t want any part of it until she hears from
Harry, that if he gets out of prison, he could collect a 5 million dollar inheritance that awaits him. Beth changes her tune immediately. They decide to start their search at the children’s shelter.
Scene eight: At the shelter, in a back room, the kids put canned goods and loaves of bread into sacks, as they prepare to sneak out and give the treasures to the homeless people (“Ya Gotta Give Reprise”).
Scene nine: In the parlor of the shelter, Harry, Matthew, Stacy and Beth explain the situation to Mary and Kate. Mary and Kate are reticent at first, but they decide to help get to the bottom of things.
Scene ten: The dim lights reveal a city street. Tommy, Billy, Holly, Jill and Skeeter are passing out food to some homeless people.
Scene eleven: Stacy and Beth are in the stock room waiting for Harry and Matthew. Angberd and Bubbles enter the other side of the stock room. Angberd happily plays with his yo-yo as he proudly shows Bubbles around. Angberd boasts
that he sells more Silly Putty than FAO Schwartz. Bubbles coos with childlike infatuation (“Silly Putty Man”). Angberd is joined in his song by four Barbie Doll Dancers who come to life
from the rear of the stockroom. Angberd and Bubbles exit.
Stacy and Beth admit that they have grown fond of Harry and Matthew. Even Beth sees that her feelings for Harry more than about money (“I Found a Guy for Christmas”).
Harry and Matthew arrive. They have a plan, however crazy, to get the book (and money) from Angberd and Gilmore on Christmas Eve at Rockefeller Center. They all will dress up as Santa Claus and run a phony book drive. They will distract
Angberd and Gilmore. The distraction will enable one of our heroes to switch a book that they have with the one with the money in it that Angberd is carrying. Beth is convinced that the plan is completely stupid and that they will all be arrested.
She reluctantly agrees.
Scene twelve: Stacy, Beth, Harry and Matthew are at the shelter explaining their plan to Kate and Mary. The kids are eavesdropping. The kids come in and are curious about the strangers. Matthew and Stacy explain to the kids what is
going on. Tommy wants to know why Harry and Matthew are not afraid (“A Voice in the Distance”).
The adults exit. The kids decide that they will take matters into their own hands and get the money back themselves “A Voice in the Distance Reprise”).
Act Two
Scene one: Stacy, Beth, Harry and Matthew are in the store stock room. They are putting on their Santa suits. They decide that they will rehearse their charade. They all practice their ho-ho-ho’s. Beth is unable to do it. Each time she tries, she lets out a loud, high pitched screech. Stacy, Harry and Matthew tell her that it’s easy to act like Santa (“Santa Claus”).
Scene two: It’s Christmas Eve and Rockefeller Center is crowded with tourists and revelers (“The Rockefeller Center Song”). Stacy, Beth, Harry and Matthew enter. They are carrying a sign that reads: “HOLIDAY BOOK DRIVE – EVEN THE NEEDY NEED TO READ”. They look ridiculous in there Santa suits. Some people begin donating books. Angberd, Bubbles and Gilmore enter. Gilmore is nervous as he asks Angberd for the book with the money in it. Angberd, as annoying as usual, is excited about the show he just saw at Radio City and won’t stop going on about it. Harry notices Angberd and Gilmore and decides that he will try and get the book with the money in it that Angberd is carrying. “Do you have a book for the poor to give to Santa?” He asks. Meanwhile, Kate and Mary have entered. They too have on Santa suits and they also are trying to get the book. Harry tries to grab the book from Angberd. The book flies up in the air and a Melee breaks out. People and books are flying everywhere. A policeman intervenes. Everyone scatters off in different directions.
Scene three: It is 4 A.M. the next morning in Rockefeller Center. There is a homeless woman in the street. The kids enter with their sacks. Holly approaches the pathetic homeless woman and hands her a can of food (“A Voice in the Distance 2nd Reprise”). The woman accepts the gift, and, with a look of gratification, reaches into her meager bag and takes out one of her only possessions, a book. She hands it to Holly.
Scene four: At the same time, Harry and Matthew meet at the shelter. No one is there. They discuss their predicament. They do not have the evidence that will exonerate them. Also, they express concern for Stacy and Beth.
They too have realized that they love the girls. Matthew tells Harry to go to the toy store. Maybe Beth is there. Stacy enters. Stacy and Matthew embrace. Across the stage the stock room traveler reveals Beth. Beth
is relieved when Harry arrives. They all express their love (“For Your Love”).
Kate and Mary enter the shelter. They ask where Beth and Harry are. Harry and Beth enter. They all lament that they did not get the book from Angberd, and that they are now in real trouble. The kids enter. Tommy holds up a book
and declares: “Are you looking for this?” It’s the book that was given to Holly by the homeless woman. It has the money in it.